Good God I gotta get better at this

One month since I last blogged. How pathetic. It is not as if I didn't have anything else to do. So now I will sit here and try to think of something to blog about, that really means nothing to nobody and feel better about myself for putting down some meaningless words. THANKFULLY there has got to be a rest before more funerals. I mean nobody is anticipated to die anytime soon. Grandma Esther's funeral was nice, it was great remembering her life - thank GOD I don't have to paint her house anymore - but they take a lot out of a person.

Will keep this one short. Will think about something special to blog about tomorrow, so for today just stare at the ultimate redneck table excessory and be joyful it is not in your house.

One wrong step and into the brink.

sorry for the delay but life got in the way. I hate it when I get so busy I don't remember sleeping. But that has been my last month. Got my kids ready for DI, and they got screwed in the tournament. We will get revenge next year. Now preparing for Grandma's funeral. How is that for timing. Well at least I get to use a couple of vacation days at work.

B has been tearing apart the house, so I have to be Mr Fix IT (go ahead laugh, I know the image is hard to fathom, I can hardly picture it myself) so we can have running water, electricity, and no gaping holes to the outside, by the time we go to bed. She has realized if she destroys the project past the point of no return, I almost have to help.

As I alluded to before Grandma Esther passed away Friday night. I will miss her terribly but this is a blessing, as she has been held hostage in her body for the last 5 years. She was a second mom to me, often serving as my home away from home. She taught me how to play cards, cook, and garden. I also painted her house about a zillion and 1 times. Christmas will never be the same. I will try to do a better post after the funeral.

But for now, I am going to try to remember how to sleep, before I crash, and hopefully the rest of the family won't know I am gone.

I have been remiss

Sat here many hours this past week and had nothing to write about. My brain was blessedly numb. Then I get entangled in a stupid political discussion and now my head is going to explode again. So as of this minute, I will tell all who care about who I think should be president. But be put on notice this is subject to change by the time I finish writing.

For those who don't know me I am 100% non-partisan. I find it impossible to believe that out of the bucu millions of people living in the US, we only think along red or blue lines. Me, as a self proclaimed user of the 8 crayon color box - I am still working on the black. Thus I have a brain and can think for myself. I don't need any east coast, hoighty toit, born with a silver shoe up their ass telling me how I should be voting. I have given up on the media a long time ago as being impartial so I have actually researched the 4 likely candidates remaining and I will reveal the proper thought process in why I should or should not vote for them.

First lets do the easy one. Huckabee. There is no way in Huckabee's hell that I can vote for him. I firmly beleive in the separation of church and state, and there is no way you can convince me that ol Huck can separate the 2. He made way too much money and became way too powerful perversing the church's power to sway people to get ahead. I have morals and he grates every one. Now I know there is going to be a bunch of holy-than-thou nutjobs out there saying that I have just condemned myself to a slippery slide down. But let me reassure those folks that they removed the slide a long time ago and I only have to worry about the trap door and a free fall.

Next lets switch side to Hill-baby. the candidates platform and pie-in-the-sky visions are only secondary distractions to me, cuz I am a realist. You can have the best platform in the world, free candy for all baby's and everyone will have eternal life, but if you can't deal with the otherside you are useless in DC. Hill-baby will be useless. If elected the Conservative nut jobs will have the power and ability to make her the laughing stock of DC. You thought W, was worthless, only opening his mouth when either Cheney or ROve hand t heir hand up his ass. Hill-baby will have every piecce of legislation she is in favor of bottlenecked, voted out, filibustered, or mutated beyond any original intent. I don't care that she's female, a Clinton, or a New York transplant, it doesn't matter when the other side will oppose her farting in the tub, just because they can. Beside the first political type solicitation from this political year can from her, so that eliminated her right away.

that leave McCain and Obama. Right now it is a toss up between the 2. I am leaning towards Obama on the simple fact that McCain is 124 years old and I can not see a potential VP pick that Mcgeezer will chose that I can handle as president. though I love the fact that McSewer mouth will let anybody have it at any time and it is OK because McPOW is an American Hero and he has earned the right.

Obama on the other hand, seems to get that it is not what you say but what you can do. He is being criticized right now for not stumping his plan on the campaign trail. Sorry - take the initiative and read it on the web site. What he is doing is listening to each area, and buzz wording their concerns and how he can try to help. He is smart enough so far not to make any grandiose promises.

I rather doubt any candidate would waste precious resources in SoDak so I can see them first hand. But in any case I still beleive my method of deciding a tie is the best. Just like the movies - the more before the release hype, promotions, and chatter. The crappier the real thing is. So whoever send me the least amount of mailbox filler gets my vote.

Not this year Randy!!!!!

Near perfect ending the to NFL Season, the only thing better would be the Buc's beating the Pat's. But I am glad the Giants won. Now I will have to listen to the NFL Network tomorrow and see how EVERYBODY gets to eat crow on "the best ever" team. Sorry that title belongs to someone who can win the big one. Yeah ME! I also get to collect my winnings tomorrow, even though the #1 reason I was betting against the Pats is the Randy Moss does NOT deserve a Superbowl ring. Anybody that only plays for a team that would be winning without him doesn't deserve to be in the league, let alone be recognized as even a good player.

I even got to go camera hunting and caching today. No wildlife - weather was kinda crappy, but geocaching has again brought me to another location worth revisiting. Acres of nothing man made except for the Top Gov rock next to the middle of nowhere.

About the party last noc, let's just say this - I make a butt ugly chick and I got to quit kissing guys - even if I am in drag. I will leave it at that.

Blah^3

Another night where I have so much to do that I am sitting here doing nothing. You know it is bad when you are reading about some dude that is coating himself in vaseline and leaving "butt prints" on store front windows.

The Weirdo-American Community
Authorities in Valentine, Neb., have been on the lookout since November for the vandal who has approached several storefronts at night and, apparently with Vaseline smeared over his nude body, pressed himself against windows and doors. A radio station called the person "the buttcheek bandit" (although some speculate there may also be a copycat). Asked Valentine police chief Ben McBride, "Who in their right mind would do something like that?" [Omaha World-Herald, 11-12-07] (Taken from http://www.newsoftheweird.com/)

OK there is even a copycat. THANK YOU Ma & Pa for leaving that sick town and moving us out to the middle of nowhere.

Going to a work sponsored Pre-Superbowl party tomorrow. S'posed to dress up - everyone is asking what I am doing. Right now, honestly - I have squat. Too damn cold to body paint. Too damn cheap to have any Pro-football regalia. So I will have to improvise. Might skip work for extra thinkin time. It is also our awards banquet so I will probably be tanked before I get there and have to figure out how long I have to stay to drive the hour back home.

MANic'S SupERboWL PreeDiCTIOn ---- While I will be rooting for the Giants the entire game, and they have a legit chance, my Brain says go for the Pat's. But here are my reasons the Giants deserve to win.

1. Way too many people are jumping on the BEST EVER Pat's bandwagon, It would be hilarious to rub it in all of their faces if they lose.

2. New Yorkers were shopping for a QB in November cuz Eli was on the way out.

3. Randy Moss will never deserve a Superbowl Ring.

4. Pretty boy Brady is getting a little too cocky.

5. The 3 weeks of press about the upset will knock Hillary off the front pages of every newspaaper.

6. I am tired of hearing "one game at a time"

Frozen Over

Skidz forgot his glasses so I would have forgiven him the fact that he thought the ice houses in the distance were buffalo, except for the fact that at least 2 had headlights...

Man the insanity was rampant out at Lake Poinsett, I still do not see the excitment in driving thousands of pounds of machinery out on 17 inches of ice, sitting in a 4x6 outhouse and watching the hole (which is further weakening the integretity of your temporary surface, btw) for a future meal to appear. As for me, give me a boat, a 80 degree day, and a beer and I will gladly drown worms, this 0 degree crap is insane. I swear I saw a bonfire out there as well. The only ice you will catch me on better be indoors with a zambini.

So, with my obvious enthusiasm for ice fishing, what the H was I doing out there? I finally got to have some alone time - the 'rents were over for the weekend, so as soon as they departed I was scouring the tree line for a tin holding geo-crap. Found it, logged it, skidz took a toy for the princess, I left my usual better than the cache deserves loot, and hi-tailed my butt back home. But before I did, I realized Skidz has never been out on the ice, so we had to make a pit stop. He wanted me to drive out there, but with my luck my 1/2 ton car would be the straw that broke the camel and there would be about 300 ice fisherman out there trying to get their Dodge Dakotas from the bottom of the lake. I know there is a snowball's chance of that happenin' but why risk it.

Someday I may have to bite it and take Skidz ice fishing, but I am still holding out for the chance that one of his friend's father will gladly volenteer to freeze his ass of instead.

Brain Barf

Forgive me Father for I have strayed, it has been 10 days since my last blog, and absolutely nothing worth blogging for has happened. that is not exactly true - both Green Bay and Dallas lost - so I don't feel so bad about the Buc's losing to the Giants. Still hate to see the Pats win it all though...

For those of you not in the immediate vacinity... it is BRASS BALL COLD. We had a heat wave today - 3 degrees. Not getting much exercise done this way. Hopefully it will warm up enough this weekend so I can get some fresh air - starting a little with the cabin fever lately.

Got my first political phone call of the season, shut them up real quick when they find out I am not registered with a political party and couldn't vote in the primary. That should stop the phone calls until May. Too Bad, though I was beginning to have a little fun.

Would you vote for a female candidate for president? (Gee I wonder who sponsored this call?)

Answer? That depends, does she look like the SeaHag from Popeye?

Well try to get back tomorrow - J is gone to Mexico from work so I am flying solo once again...

Still laughing that it has been storming in Mexico since J arrived - serves the SOB right.

I hate crickets

Another Saturday gone, Skidz and I wandered around another park looking suspicious, and I watched the "princess" destroy any last shred of hope I could have of not having a diva...

Me: Honey what is that?

She: Dad it's a princess crown.

Me: I see that honey why did you draw that there when you signed mommy's card?

She: the I has to have a DOT Dad? (unspoken but you could clearly hear the DUH after that last statement.)

And to top it all off, the crickets are chirping. I realize my baby Aria is spoiled, and needs fresh crickets to make that gecko even fatter, and I also realize it was probably me that left a 1/4 inch hole open on the cage before XMAS break that allowed a couple to excape. But I am about ready to cut the heat for a week and freeze their little buggie butts off if they dont stop chirpin. I mean how long does it take for one of those suckers to die of old age anyway? But now, with the spawn finally comatose enough to stop talking, the crickets are out, I need to make a leash for Aria and send here out hunting.

As for the resolutions - beleive it or not the only one I have kept so far is the weight one. I am ahead of my goal after 1 week - I have lost more than 1 pound. So I should be ahead of the game when I weigh in on Monday AM. I am hoping the snow Skidz and I trudged through on the way to another stupid slinky burned off the calories a week of meetings at work caused me to consume. I tend to eat when comatose.

Posted above is Skidz, in all his masculine glory, debating to cross the cattails again after they kicked his ass on the way across. For less than 10 feet of foliage - it took the boy a good 5 minutes to cross, and at least 2 mini melt downs. I think that is progress.....................

Well it is time to consider sleeping arrangements, from the volume of the TV upstairs, the spawn are still in my bed , probably passed out, and I really don't want to trip over Mt. St. StuffedCritters getting them into the correct beds. Thankfully I can sleep in my office.

Hey I am back on-line

Going through some minor technical difficulties. As in I haven't had time to get to the computer without being so exhausted I couldn't stop drooling on the keyboard. Once again - work is a four letter word. There has got to be a better thing to do with worthless employees too politically connected to fire, beside promote them into management. I just got ripped by another department supervisor about not going to her with problems with one of her minions, then turned around and was told by MY supervisor that one of MY own minions was ratted on by the same ice witch. Not that I could (or my supervisor for that matter) could care less, because she had no clue what she was talking about, but it still irks me that I have to be competant when all others around me would be fired from McDonalds. Don't get me wrong, I am dancing with joy that she is not working the floor caring for patients (as are the patients in the community) but jeesh, there should be warning labels on the incredibly stupid so those of us that do fire a few neuron's yet, don't have to smell those neuron short circuiting in mid argument. Oh well, that is why I am working management, all of the social skills of a working grunt, the paycheck of management, and 16 hours a month minimum of approved nap time in the guise of meetings.

got a day off tomorrow - spouse is at work, spawn at school - the first ME TIME this year. Hope I survive it.

Yeah... tomorrow XMAS is officially over!

I am a Grinch I admit it. I am only capable of handling about 4 days of Christmas before I start decking the halls and downing the Prozac. And it keeps getting worse, with decorations coming out after the easter egg dye is sold out, and carols starting to be played on the radio while the kids are trick or treating, I have almost boycotted the holiday season this year. Now I find out that the evil Walmart and associates are now having Epiphany sales. Come on! at least let's get with the meaning of the season and sell the sacred tree sap along with the mutant headed BRAT dolls and the Indiana Jones LEGO sets. Don't get me wrong I can always find a reason to celebrate no matter how lame, but Epiphany? The most that should happen there is you finally move the wisemen to the manger in your Nativity Set (now we can finally put that away) and start the count down to Mardi Gras. For me I will celebrate a different holiday, start of the NFL play offs and hope my Bucs are not one and done.

Is this really a problem?

First of all, all you right wing abortion activists take note, I will be mentioning a few trigger words likely to send this into blog hell (especially if someone actually reads my blog). But take notice now... My opinion on the matter is none of your concern!

Ok, now that is out of the way. Have you ever had an item that you walk by everyday and say there is something wrong with it but you just can't lay your finger on it???? I had one, and I finally discovered what was wrong after actually reading the entire box. I will explain...

but contains sensitive materials, if you must gag, do it now and get it over with. Those who have not discussed the birds and the bees with a knowledgible source before reading any further.

This is a product that sits on a shelf in many hospital pharmacies. It is a piece of seaweed that is inserted into the birthing canal of a FORMERLY pregnant woman to forcibly open the cervix to help abort a NON_VIABLE fetus (for those of you that just read the word abort and got red in the face - non-viable means dead, deceased, not living, already on its way to becoming fertilizer etc). It accomplishes this by swelling to 5-10 times its diameter when warm and wet.

Not a pleasant job but something has got to do it. If the print is hard to read let me quote it here

WARNING: ONE TIME USE ONLY...

Is this REALLY a PROBLEM???? Who tried to reuse this product on a second person? Was that physician sued out of their medical license? What were they smoking and did they get it from the pharmacy legally?

In otherwords EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW!

Back to work

OK work sucked today, as I knew it would. You would think after 2 years my compatriots would at least be able to throw away the junk mail, but nope, I got 10 days worth of crap mixed in with 10 days of vital stuff that needed signed, sealed, and delivered 5 days ago, piled randomly on my desk. And all I can do is go through that potential safety hazard page by page, to make sure I don't accidently throw away $10000. (Did that once - do not desire to live through that experience again.) That was just hospital 1 of 3.

Hospital #2 required my attention for 1 hour of listening to them reread what I actually produced for my final approval.

Hospital #3 - CONSTRUCTION. Nothing like working in constant fear one wall is going to fall down on top of you, and then when I think I finally get to leave. I am told I have to move everything in the pharmacy today. Not gonna happen without contacting the state. Another 3 hours wasted.

Bright side. For doing the mandatory corporate compliance education, (at the last minute, and have the correct answers memorized by now) my name was entered into a raffle and I won a new digital camera. Yeah me! So now let me introduce the first picture I took, trying to turn the stupid thing on.

BYW - already blew 2 of my 4 resolutions within 30 minutes of walking into work. That would make 32 hours and 45 minutes - my best year yet.

2008 resolutions

OK for real now - Happy New Year! Goodbye 2007, as with this hang over it is nothing a champagne breakfast cannot fix. Only 2 problems with the day so far...

First - thermometer is registering a balmy -1 degree F this AM

Second - I have to return to work tomorrow. I have got a jump on that and burned out 2 razors who made a valiant effort to remove a weeks worth of growth from my face. But still getting up a 0600 to sit in a cold car for an hour until I get to a job with 10 days worth of back log to get through... and you wonder I don't take more vacations.

Plans for the day... as little as possible. I might venture out and grab a cache if the temp hits double digits. Start 2008 out with a little road trip, but other than that I am planning on getting to know my oversized chair a little better.

So now for those that care my New Years Resolutions... most of which I will break before I go to bed tonight.

I Hereby resolve not to be as judgemental to all the incompetant high school drop-outs and "Millenial Learners" I have to deal with through out the day. To do this I will keep repeating the line "Someone has to deliver my pizza, someone has to deliver my pizza."

I hereby resolve to lose 50 pounds by 2009. I have a surgery schedules in exactly 366 days to remove my left leg if I cannot manage this on my own.

I hereby resolve actually take a real vacation this year. A week without work was nice, but staying home and doing laundry for a week was not exactly what I had planned.

I hereby resolve to work on my patience and tolerance to those I encounter with stupid problems, diva attitudes, or suffer from brain deficiency. These people make up the bulk of my business and pay for my toys. Waging a mental war against the unarmed is a waste of my time, and cuts into my paycheck.

That is enough for now - the champagne is apparently wearing off, so I hope there is some left, or I will need to finish off the bottle of motrin by tonight.